James + Reece + Lola + Jessica

James + Reece + Lola + Jessica

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Lessons in Parenting...

Needless to say, I've picked up more useful little survival tips over the last nine and a half months than I did in the collective 24 years that came before motherhood.

Though that statement might seem extreme, it's the truth.  And yesterday while out enjoying a night on the town, we learned the greatest parenting lesson of them all:

Never, under any circumstances [including but not limited to: famine, fire, earthquake, alien abduction, zombie takeover, apocalypse, etc.] leave the house without an extra diaper.


Reece and I have always been the kind of people who have to touch the burner on the stove to really believe it's hot, and this time we got burned.

While waiting for our table at Squatters downtown, we realized Lola felt about 10 pounds heavier, and we both knew the exact source of those added lbs.  Reece lost the "Rock, Paper, Scissors" war and reached inside the diaper bag for the very thing from which it's name is derived, only to make the horrifying discovery that our "diaper" bag had been reduced to nothing but a sack with a bunch of useless toys and several pathetic cereal puffs occupying its innards.

"But Jessica, you live downtown.  Why not just run home and grab a handful of diapers?  Problem solved, right?"

Oh no, dear friends.  We paid $5 to park, and there was NO WAY we were giving up that spot without getting our money's worth.

I detest paying money to park.

So I sent Reece to the restroom with some wipes and Lola's binky, praying he would find an unopened box of diapers hidden near the hand dryer.  Fat chance, but a girl can dream.

After about 20 minutes, I began to grow concerned.  Perhaps Reece had taken my command that he "get creative" to an absurd new level.  One can only assume the worst, especially when Reece Ivins is involved.  He did, after all, record himself playing the piano so he could play video games while his parents assumed he was practicing.

I was just about to storm the men's room when I saw my husband and my daughter making their way towards me.  Lola had a giant smile on her face, while Reece looked like he had just run a marathon in 190-degree heat.

Come to find out, there was no changing table in the bathroom, Lola had somehow managed to rip one of the straps off that coveted diaper and the entire sippy cup of apple juice she downed right before we left home had made it's way back out again.

Gathering strength from the memory of his piano avoidance triumph, Reece grabbed an entire roll of toilet paper, lined the already-saggy diaper, wrapped more of it around Lola's belly to keep said diaper from falling to the ground and fancied a skirt out of her blanket.

Turns out, Lola has absolutely no problem sitting in her own filth.  She squealed, laughed, smiled and flirted her way through dinner.  And though I'm sure she will add this to the list of things to hold against us someday, she appeared to take it all in stride.

I love my little angel.

And my creative husband.

So really, even if you don't have kids, please promise me you will always make sure to have a diaper on hand.

That way if we forget again, we can steal yours.


Jessica said...

Wow, that is some serious ingenuity! Being diaperless is one of my nightmares. I have found myself wipeless on a couple of occasions, but luckily I was able to borrow some wipes on both occasions. Brave Reece!

Abby said...


i don't think anyone could pay brian enough to tackle something like that.

justin + camille said...

Ummm . . . this is an awesome story. I'm sorry we weren't downtown to rescue you with a diaper! :)

The De Rosa's said...

Next this time happens, please oh please just call us and I will run you a diaper no matter what!

We learned our lesson the hard way like this, but mike didn't use toliet paper and tried using a maxi pad on our baby such a sad story! But actually such a classic story all at the same time. Just get smart like I did and leave 5 extra diapers in your trunk!

Alysha said...

Genius I tell you. And she was SO happy! I can send you the pictures of her. :)

AJ and Cindy said...

this story is hilarious, it really made my day that much better. I can totally picture that all happening, and I can imagine Lola's happy, toothy grin!