Lately I've been staring at my kid. A lot. To the point where I think it actually creeps her out. So much, in fact, that I actually found a shiv fashioned out of one of her rattles the other day.
Okay, not really. But I'm pretty sure she's noticed my constant gaze upon her. And I think it's inspired her to be more sneaky in her naughtiness.
I'm not exactly sure what set it off, but I honestly can't stop looking at her. I mean, I've always thought she was beautiful, but I'm not sure I've ever appreciated how beautiful she really is.
I realize I'm not in a position to be objective and that my bias runs deep. I realize it's only natural to think that something you created, incubated and gave life to is awe inspiring. I realize most other mamas feel exactly the same way about their babies and are probably thinking to themselves, "That kid's got nothing on mine."
But lately Lola has started to reveal a side of her beauty I've never really seen clearly before. Like in the way she uses her perfect little lips to smother my face with kisses when I'm bummed out. Or the in way she lifts her chubby, rubber-band hands to pat me on the back. Or in the way she gives me a perfect, toothy grin when I'm feeling lonely.
I've begun to see how sensitive my girl is to what's going on around her, particularly to how other people are feeling. I've begun to recognize what a hilarious little person she is, always looking for ways to get a laugh. I've begun to understand just how smart she is.
The bottom line is, my kid is gorgeous. But it's not just her big, brown eyes. It's not just her irresistible muffin top. It's not just her pinchable cheeks.
It's her good little heart that makes her so lovely, and now that she's decided to give us a peek into it, I just can't look away.