I despise the dentist.
Even more than the gynecologist.
Even more than animals dressed as people.
Even more than feet.
Even more than the "Low Book Sales" commercials.
And that's saying a lot.
My mom made me go to the dentist at least once a year while I was still under her roof. Even in college she would set appointments behind my back, promise me a trip to the ice cream parlor and drop me off at the torture chamber with nothing more than a sadistic laugh as she watched the devil's helpers chain the doors shut.
Once I got married, I took charge of my destiny and flipped the bird at anyone who dared tried to put their hands in my mouth. Luckily, no one tried to do that. But after three years, I decided it was time to willingly submit myself to the torture or endure being completely toothless by the time I was 45.
So I bit the bullet and trudged into the dentist today. I sat through 30 minutes of scraping and poking and gagging. All the while, the perky hygienist wanted to have a lengthly chat. What is with that? Don't they realize that it's difficult to hold a conversation when you have three tools and 10 fingers jammed into your mouth?
It should be mentioned that although I hate the dentist, I have always prided myself in cavity-free checkups. After having two cavities filled at age 10, I decided I would rather brush 283 times a day than go through that process again. I figured today would be no different. Apparently, I was wrong.
The dentist found three, as in THREE cavities. Panicked, I insisted it must be a mistake. After all, I don't eat candy! I drink only diet sodas! I brush my teeth three times a day! I think about flossing at least once a day! Sometimes I even floss!
But then he asked me if I had had a baby recently. I immediately looked down to see if my belly was hanging out or something, but was surprised when he told me pregnancy wreaks havoc on a girl's teeth. Something about Ph levels and calcium leaching.
Long story short, only one of the cavities is serious enough to require a filling. Now I just have to work up the courage to set that appointment.
At least I walked out of there with some sugar-free gum samples and a grab bag full of dental goodies.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I despise the dentist.
Posted by Jessica and Reece at 8:09 PM