James + Reece + Lola + Jessica

James + Reece + Lola + Jessica

Friday, July 4, 2008

I Keep On Falling...

Sunday: I was asked to give the prayer in Sacrament meeting.  I am TERRIFIED of praying in public.  What if I end up saying something blasphemous and lightning strikes?  Also a major stress...timing "the walk" during the last verse of the opening song so that you get up to the stand right as the song ends.  Not before.  Not too long after.  Sweating bullets.  Also, who knew "The Star Spangled Banner" had three verses? Not this girl.  So guess who stood up after the first verse?  Yep.  I was able to compose myself, timed the walk almost to perfection, said a stunning prayer and felt quite pleased with myself as I sauntered back towards my seat.  I was soon humbled...my heel caught the stair, my ankle rolled and I went SLIDING down...in a skirt.  The entire congregation gasped in unison as I not-so-gracefully grabbed the blessed rails before I exposed more of myself than people should ever have to see.  Just when the situation could not possibly get more humiliating, I instinctively heard myself YELL to the shocked crowd, "I'm OK!!!!".  Mortifying people, mortifying.  Reece said no one noticed...yet 15 (yes, I counted) people rushed up to me the second the meeting ended... 

"Are you ok?" 
"Wow, that was REALLY embarrassing."
"Are you completely mortified?"
"That was quite the spill you took!"
"You certainly know how to make yourself memorable!"
Thanks.  I think.

Today: I went for an early morning run in the avenues.  Beautiful skies, cool breeze, and fresh morning air add up to disaster for our hero, as she once again took a massive plunge onto the cement sidewalk in front of a rather populated gas station.  I have the road rash to prove it.  I limped home with one arm at my side, gushing blood.  What a beautiful sight to behold.

Someone must have cut my whiskers without me knowing about it, because my equilibrium is screwed.


ECR said...

Awesome!! You tell the best stories.

The Lishes' said...

I know I shouldn't laugh, but that is some pretty funny stuff! It's one of those moments where you just want to pull a bag over your head and pretend you don't exist. I know the feeling. And then you have to love all of the people afterward who attempt to make some sort of "comforting" comment. Bless their souls, it makes it all worse!

Emily Ann Myers said...

Oh jess, i laughed so hard. I feel terrible for laughing at your pain, but then...what are friends for? and just fyi, i share your fear of praying in public.

tara said...

Oh dearest...I totally share the fear of public praying..Hey I had to lead my grandpa's elders quorum in the STARS SPANGLED BANNER..do I know how to lead? H no! Hey but blessings will come to you for not saying no to praying...and for falling in church..Ü

Kimba said...

I have done the whole falling-while-jogging thing, so not fun. And I know the pain of public humiliation during sacrament meeting, I fainted while giving my first talk. FAINTED. Like, fall back as if dead. Abby started crying because she thought I HAD died. I was 12. It was terrible.